When Skipping Work Always Wear a Disguise

My company likes to make a bunch of retired old men feel important by appointing them to various bureaus, councils and committees (i.e. busy work when they’re not golfing.) Of course these BCC’s like to meet on the weekends. This allows the old men and their wives a brief retreat into the city so they can shop, eat dinner and attend a meeting or two to justify spending thousands of dollars of the company’s money. Our department takes these meetings quite seriously. We begin preparing months in advance, creating snazzy folders with tabs and everything.

This weekend I decided enough was enough and I was not going to any stupid ass meeting that required me to travel 2.5 hrs on a Saturday morning to sit around and watch old men eat bagels. So I did what any klassy professional would do: I told my boss I’d be out of town, ya know, family obligation, then I proceeded to plan my day with fun activities.

Then I hit a glitch: on the way to one of these activities I spotted someone who works at my company …someone with a big mouth. I hid behind my oversized glasses and planned to make my escape through the backdoor, but leave it to the fucking CTA to have a bus with only one working door. I casually strolled to the front of the bus, then jumped out of that bitch like a fugitive.

I wasn’t wrong right? I mean I’m about to quit this stupid job as soon as McDonald’s processes my application. And it’s not like I could skip “Wok Cooking 101” that shit is vital to my well-being.