Asshole of the Day

The Early Bird

It is usually 7:15 am when I stumble onto my bus. To my horror, some people seem to be wide awake and alert, ready to start their day. I am not a morning person. In order to avoid my wrath, please observe the following five rules:

1. Don't look at me
2. Don't smile at me
3. Don't talk to me
4. Don't talk to anyone else
5. Breathe only when you begin to feel dizzy