I Attract Crazies

For your entertainment, I am including snippets of three conversations I have had or been privy to in the past two weeks. How, oh how, do I wind up in these situations?

Today, minding my business on the bus stop, approached by crazy with grocery cart. Proceed to help crazy lady lift cart onto bus (another reason old people are trouble on CTA, man up and carry the bags assholes) "it sure is cold out here. My daughter broke her foot, i told her she needs to get outside, she's hibernating." (Yelling at teenager crossing the street) "You're gonna die! Can't cross the street like that."

Sunday, seemingly normal guy approaches me on the train and asks for the time. Conversation proceeds like so, "I like apple pie. Can I have one of your cookies?" ( I give him a cookie) "Are we friends now?" ummmm, sure. "I'm gay, did you know I was gay?" (does something nasty with his tongue) conversation lasts 40 minutes until I can escape to the safelty of the red line.

Sometime Last Week, at the gym washing my hands. Two ladies having a conversation, suddently I notice that one is brushing out her wig. "Girl that wig is cute!" "Oh this thing? It's my work out wig, gotta look good." Proceeds to change out of her, ummm, daytime wig, into her work out wig.