Top 5 Responses to Ridiculous E-mails

I e-mailed a co-worker and got back a normal answer followed by a question. I answered the question. End of e-mail chain right? Wrong. This person decided to e-mail me back “Glad I thought of it.” What the fuck kind of response is that? How do I reply? “Me too.” Do I give her a cyber pat on the back for her original thought?

Have you ever gotten an e-mail that you didn’t know how to reply to?
Did your FYI turn into a friggin dialogue that totally eliminated the purpose of it being an FYI?

Try one of these tried and true (okay, we haven’t tried them but we wish we could) responses to shut the dumb a-hole up and end all present and future correspondence:

5. Everybody poops.
4. Yeah, with extra cheese.
3. Thank you for your message. However, I’m currently away from my desk right now because you make me sick, you self-aggrandizing asshole. If you need immediate assistance..I don't care.
2. I saw it! Seriously, like 3 inches tops.
1. Syphilis.