A Whole New World--I like being unemployed

Since I'm in my late 20s, I wake up early like old people do. I was showered, dressed and locking up the crib by 9:30am on my first and only real day off before I start my new job. I step outside and...there's people out...lots of people. I chalk it up to living close to a university (lucky bastards) and proceed to my solo breakfast at the pancake house.

Get there, it's packed. I get stuck in the "you're eating solo" section which is pretty much behind the dumpster and next to the dishwasher. Then I hit the nail shop. Afterall, who's in a nail shop this early...everybody and their 2nd cousin that's who. It was then that I surmised that most of the people in Chicago are unemployed and independently rich.

My day off was a fluke, but these assholes look like they never go to work. I hit a couple more shops, each with lots of customers and came to the conclusion that I really don't want to work anymore. Being unemployed is the biggity bomb. I will never make fun of bums again cause apparently they're smarter than I am.