Tales from my first day at my new job

Okay, so my dumb ass didn't take any time off between jobs and I found myself sitting at Dunkin Donuts at 8am twiddling my thumbs and trying to figure out if 10 minutes or 15 minutes constituted fashionably early. I decided on 10 and showed up at my new job dressed in black (because I would like to be taken seriously.) Of course wasn't nobody there cause who shows up early except for retarded new people who are on salary but have yet to realize that they can show up when they want and still get paid the same amount (noted.)

I notice two 20-something chicks (one totally had a boob job, they were crooked and distracting) waiting so I being the oldest I think (sigh, welcome to agency) introduce myself and make small talk. We get greeted by an overly chipper HR person, get offered tea, coffee, water, or fruit and proceed through the maze of a floor (I'd like to point out that the poor interns are delegated to the "Intern Pit" yes, that is the official title but at least they keeps it real.)

We go through orientation and I discover that indeed this place has all the essentials: A lady that comes in to do manicures and massages cause we're just TOO busy to leave the building for that, one friday a month where we all leave our desks at 4:30 pm and come hang out and get free food oh, and a whole bunch of health insurance and shit.

I got my own office (how I keep dodging cubicles, I have no idea) and I almost passed out from the smell of cleaning fluid and the lack of ventilation. I have also been scared straight into staying on task, cause hot diggity dog our IT department actually knows what the hell they are doing. One guy entered my computer remotely and was moving shit around (can you say Ghost in the Machine) so I guess I won't be blogging at work till I can beat the system.

Sadly, I didn't get the memo in my orientation kit saying I actually had to work now cause by 1 pm I had my first assignment and was researching my ass off trying to find media hits. I literally was working for 10 hours today, BUH. But strangely, I was content. I dare say, it was a miscellaneousness free day...except for the normal CTA bullshit. Bitch, you missed the freeway exit! Sigh.