Chili: The way into a man's pants and other weekend highlights

Before ya'll get all excited, no, I did not get some this weekend. However, I did discover that no man can turn down a bowl of homemade chili. I was able to successfully coerce my non-beef, non-pork, non-white sugar, non-white flour eating personal trainer over to my place for a bowl of chili, some cornbread and some sweet tea. Thus breaking just about every one of his dietary rules.

Regretfully, he was a total gentleman and it was a totally innocent evening. I sent him home with lunch in my good Tupperware and hopefully a good impression. Friends, when the spandex didn't work, I had to break out the big guns. Anyways, allow me to leave you with other tales from my oh-so interesting life:

Cream in my coffee: I do declare that I was flirting with a white guy at the grocery store this weekend...and it wasn't so bad. I've obviously been hanging around Ms. Coco too much. He's actually kind of a cutie, has a body (he goes to my gym) and apparently likes to chat up girls in the dairy aisle.

Ready...set...hike hike: On the #6 bus when I look over and see a cute little old man in his Bears jersey carrying a football. It was all good until he started to run plays...alone...on Michigan Ave. He even ran up to the bus and I seriously think he was about to throw the ball through the window.

Entrepreneurship at its best: Still on the #6 bus, when I look over and see a man selling food out of a box. Ummm, a homeless man, selling expired, unwrapped, lightly used food, out of a box. I wonder if he had any takers. Hey, you can't blame him for getting his hustle on.

100-60=40: Goddammit, despite all my hard work I once again wound up getting chased down the street by an old man. There's something about me in a sweat suit with no make-up that really riles the fellas up. So this guy, who I had a 1 minute conversation with on the bus last week, spotted me and chased me down the street until I decided to stop and hear him out. He proceeded to give me the digits, then asked me how old I was. When I told him he seemed relieved since I apparently look a lot younger. Ummm, if that's the case, shouldn't you have asked me before you gave me your number? If I was 16 instead of 26 would you have taken pause? For some reason I doubt it. He then proceeded to have me guess his age and was proud to announce he was 40. SIGH. Asshole. But I may get a free lunch out of him, just for the fun of it.

So what did you do this weekend?